I met a lovely first time mum the other day. We started chatting and she told me that she has a serious case of the mummy guilts.
I don’t think I actually said anything very helpful at the time but later I started to think about it – and what I advice I could have offered.
I think all mums suffer a little from the affliction but some definitely more than others. I do over certain things but not very many and not very often and I’m not sure why?
Maybe having worked with children I know that they are generally pretty happy creatures and more robust than we sometimes give them credit for.
I am by NO means any sort of super mum but I am confident in what I do (most of the time) and I don’t sweat the small stuff.
I am never going to be one of those mums making rainbow rice off Pinterest.
Making my daughters birthday cake was a prime example of that.
I was pretty ok that the lollies were sliding off the birthday cake – it tasted pretty damn good and the kids certainly didn’t notice!
I think it might be different if I had to leave the house and go out to work but plenty of mums love and enjoy their work and are more than happy to go back when their maternity leave finishes.
A fantastic mum that I know went back to work 3 days a week when her little one was 6 months old – she said it was the best thing for everyone as she got the adult company she needed and was a much happier mum on the 4 days she was at home with her little girl.
Working mums often feel guilty about going out to work (even though most of them have too) but probably don’t realise that some stay at home mums feel guilty that they are not going to work.
When my first baby was about 6 months old people started asking me when I was going back to work. It got to the stage that I started to feel bad that I wasn’t going back to work even though I had made the decision not too.
As parents we want to do the best for our children and often place unrealistic expectations on ourselves. Possibly there is more pressure now that there used to be 30, 40, 50 years ago but I think a lot of that pressure we place on ourselves.
We make the best choices we can for our families and maybe its time we stopped feeling guilty and just let it go!
So why do some mums feel the sense of guilt more than others?